In December, we received some amazing news that we had been hoping to hear for over a year. The wife and I are expecting our first child. It was somewhat unexpected. We had been having problems conceiving, and was told by the doctor that tests may have been needed. So when the wife was late (again), we didn't think anything of it. Three months later, it still feels surreal and dreamlike. I'm going to be a father come August 4th. Poor kid.
The worries flood my mind. Will I be a good father? Will I be able to take care of not only the wife and myself, but this new addition? Will I get sick or pass out in the delivery room due to anything I may see while in there? And the one that gamers like us may ask, although it's the least important, how will it effect our gaming habits?
Is it trivial? Sure it is. But gaming is more to me than a hobby or something I do when I'm bored. It was an escape. A way to get my mind off a stressful day or to divert my attention from troubles in the real world. It has always been like that for me. I never had high self-esteem growing up and never really wanted to be around my friends. Gaming was my friend. It was there when my parents were downstairs screaming at my brother about the trouble he was in yet again or when I was lonely at home because I didn't have a date like my other friends. When I hated everything about my life, video games was there for me in a sad, pathetic, god-I-have-nothing-else-in-my-life way.
While my life has gotten better (HEY! I'M NOT LONELY ANYMORE!), I still have my down days. I have days where running around slashing people with a sword or jumping over pits of spikes is the world I want to live in at the moment. Why the hell do I want to worry about bills and my job all the time? Being an adult sucks. I still have bouts of depression I need to overcome, even with the support of my lovely wife. Gaming is that extra help for me. And with a baby on the way, I might finally lose a chunk of that help.
So the question I keep asking myself, am I ready to give up something that has always been a big part of my life for something that will eventually become one of the two biggest things in my life? And the answer is...maybe I won't have to. Sure I'll lose time to do so. I don't expect my wife to do everything for the baby so I can spend time running around the American Revolution in a white hood. That's a divorce waiting to happen. But I have to do something I've always been terrible at, and that's managing my time wisely. If I know something needs to be done, I have to get off my fat ass to do it. Don't rush the baby to sleep so I can sit in front of the tv and play the next iteration of the Playstation or Xbox. The baby will eventually nap. I can stay up late or wake up early to play games if need be. It's time for me to be a father, as many of you are or will become. And judging from the site you are on, I'm sure you found a way to make it work or will find a way to make it work. I will too.
And who knows, I may even be able to make a future gamer out of this kid.
So to those of you gamers with children, how did you notice your gaming habits change? What sacrifices did you have to make? What wise words can you share with me to help calm my soul about being a gaming father?
No comments:
Post a Comment