Project: Headline

With the recent hype for E3 and the Nintendo press conference, I was thinking back to previous game systems and what they used to be called. Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?


1. Atari 2600 - Stella

Nothing like naming your game system after the fat aunt you hate who comes over every Thanksgiving but only brings baked beans.

2. Atari 5200 - Pam

So to show progression in the system, let's give this system a name slightly more with the times but just older than this generation would like.

3. Game Boy Advance - Atlantis

I understand that Atlantis is a great mythical city, but you would think you would pick one that didn't get lost in time.


4. Dreamcast - Katana

Maybe this was code named Katana because they thought it was cool, sharp, sleek. Instead it resembled it more by putting it in a closet and showing it to friends every now and then.


5. Nintendo 64 - Project Reality

In reality, everyone and everything is blocky, moves awkwardly, and always holds something poorly designed.


6. Gamecube - Dolphin

The only thing I can think of that would make this understandable is that dolphins are friendly. And it's hard to not be friends with someone who owned a Gamecube. Especially if they were kind enough to carry it to your house using that cool handle on the back.


7. X-Box - MARZ, then VERV, then TAC

What is...the last name of a comic book writer, what "swerve" sounds like in an accent, and half of the name of the edible candy I love.

8. Nintendo DS - Iris, then Nitro

Iris sounds like it was trying to recapture the greatness of the codenames the Atari once had, went against that with a cool American Gladiator name, then stuck with something more of their fanbase would understand. Two letters.

9. Wii - Revolution

Really great name, especially after the sales numbers and the people it pulled in. Unfortunately the Revolution was only backed by a few big names, while most people set up carnival games and sports.

10. X-Box 360 - Xenon

My name is Xenon. I am your new overlord. I am connecting everyone in a hivemind mentality. I call it...LIVE. If you would like this to continue, please give me $50 a year or else I will have to red ring you to death!

11. X-Box Kinect - Natal

Natal is probably my favorite on this list. For some reason, it just makes me feel good. NATAL. Gentle. Soft. Kind. Something I would like. And ultimately forget about because they decide to only be interesting maybe once a year.


12. ??????? - Project Cafe'

Now to Project Cafe', the future drink of Starbucks. Here's hoping it's not a ridiculously priced item for something I can get cheaper, and possibly better, somewhere else.